Solitude: Why I've Been Choosing the Quiet
- Dondria
- 6 days ago
- 3 min read
Lately, I've been really sitting with myself. In my solitude.
Sometimes I feel the energy of a shift before I actually see the shift happening. And lately, that shift has felt heavy. Like something inside me is being emptied out and rebuilt at the same time. Some days I feel anxious. Other days I feel peace. Sometimes both at once. There's been this random urge to cry that I'm learning isn't random at all. It feels like a purge. A release.
I think solitude has a way of bringing your truth to the surface — especially the parts of yourself you've been too distracted, too busy, or too overwhelmed to face.
For me, I realized I had fallen into the trap of people-pleasing. Living according to other people's expectations, perceptions, and even realities when my reality felt completely different. I became so used to showing up for everyone else that somewhere along the way, I stopped fully showing up for myself. I even had a dream recently where I was literally hurting myself trying to save everyone else. And honestly? That dream told the truth.
It's a hard identity to shake when you've embodied it for so long.
So solitude became necessary.
Not loneliness. Not isolation. Just intentional time alone with my thoughts, emotions, regrets, past trauma, desires, fears… my truth. Learning how to sit with myself without immediately reaching for distraction, validation, or noise.
And that kind of stillness will reveal a lot.
Sometimes solitude looks like journaling, meditating, breath work, prayer, yoga, therapy, or sitting in silence. Other times it looks like crying in the middle of the day for reasons you can't fully explain yet. Some days it feels peaceful. Other days it feels uncomfortable. That's the practice. Showing up for yourself consistently, intentionally, without an audience.
I used to think growth was all about doing more. Becoming more. Achieving more. But solitude is teaching me that a lot of healing actually happens when you slow down enough to hear what's already been trying to speak within you.
That was the plot twist I didn't see coming.
What Does Solitude Actually Look Like for Me?
Solitude looks different every day.
Sometimes it's journaling with tea in the morning. Sometimes it's taking a walk without my phone. Sometimes it's prayer. Sometimes it's sitting in complete silence because I've realized how often I used noise to avoid myself.
People romanticize solitude like it's always candlelight and peace. Some days it is. Other days it's confronting truths you've spent years trying to outrun. Other days it's resisting the urge to emotionally abandon yourself just to keep everyone else comfortable.
But every time you choose yourself honestly, something begins to shift.
What Am I Running Toward?
I'm running toward becoming the most whole version of myself I can be in this lifetime.
Not the most productive version.
Not the most liked version.
Not the version of me that everyone else is comfortable with.
The most honest version.
And I'm learning that version of me requires stillness. Presence. Boundaries. Discernment. Rest. Self-trust. It requires me to stop performing strength long enough to actually heal.
How Solitude Became a Song
As soon as I heard the track my producer Ryan sent me, I went straight to my room and the words started pouring out. The music created a container, and everything I'd been sitting with finally had somewhere to go. That's how I knew the song was real.
I hope Solitude encourages you to get honest with yourself. To sit with yourself. To release what no longer fits. To make room for what God has for you instead of clinging to versions of yourself that were built around survival, performance, or being everything for everybody else.
Clear your soul. Clear your space. Clear your heart, hands, and mind for all the new, fresh, fulfilling beauty waiting for you on the other side of honesty.
So if you listen and feel seen, understood, emotional, uncomfortable, peaceful, cracked open, or called inward… trust that feeling. Maybe there's something in you asking to be heard too.
And maybe it all starts with some good ole solitude. ✨
If any of this resonated with you, I made a song about it — and there's a lot more coming this season. I'd love for you to be a part of it.
Start with solitude. The rest will follow. 🤍
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