The Self-ish Blog: A Love Letter to Women Who Do Too Much

Hey, Boo! Welcome to The Self-ish Blog—a space made with women like you in mind.

Many of you probably know me as Phatfffat from YouTube, or from the classic R&B anthem “You’re The One” off my debut album Dondria Vs. Phatfffat. Maybe you discovered me later in life through one of my other releases, social media, my acting, poetry book, or my journey with fitness and mental health. However you got here—I'm glad you did.

I've always been a writer at heart. I used to love writing letters to my friends and family. I’d decorate them with markers, stickers from Hobby Lobby, little doodles—and I lived for the call to tell me they got something in the mail. I even made my own birthday cards. Hallmark, who?! Somewhere along the way, though, I stopped doing a lot of the things that once brought me joy. I may not put as much effort into my one of a kind letters and cards, but one thing that’s never left me is the need to grab a pen and paper (or a keyboard/phone) to scribble down my thoughts, affirmations, frustrations, and prayers.

That’s what The Self-ish Blog is for me—a space to think out loud, to feel without filters, and to finally give myself permission to breathe. And it’s also for you.

This blog is for the ambitious woman trying to do it all—but forgetting herself in the process. It’s for the dreamers and doers who need to be reminded that putting yourself first isn’t wrong, it’s wise.

So what does it mean to be Self-ish?

It means loving yourself deeply. Listening to your body. Honoring your spirit. Prioritizing your peace. It’s filling your cup before you try to pour into anyone else’s. We say we can’t pour from an empty cup—but still, we try. And in the end, the one left thirsty... is always us.

On this blog, you can expect real thoughts from a real woman in real time—things I’m learning, unlearning, struggling with, and growing through. I’ll share self-care tips, routines, reminders, behind-the-scenes moments, and hopefully a few breakthroughs. It’s not always going to be polished. Sometimes it’ll be raw. But it’ll always be honest.

If you’ve ever needed permission to take care of yourself without guilt… this is it. From one woman doing her best to another: welcome to The Self-ish Tribe.

I hope this blog feels like a warm hug on your hardest days and a cheerleader on your best ones. You deserve that kind of love—from yourself, first.